Maybe you’re here because you think you have a sex problem.

You’ve had some sexual wounding and you just want to be done with it already, so you can move on and have wonderful, fulfilling, fun sex.

Or maybe it’s an “I’m too sensitive” problem.

You’ve heard this from other people A LOT. You’re always taking things too personally. You’re always overwhelmed. Can’t you just get it together, calm down, and do the corporate job thing already? Why are you so “difficult?”

Or perhaps, for you, it’s a people pleasing problem.

You heard the term people pleasing, or read something about boundaries or fawning on Instagram, and oh wow. You realize you slip into saying Yes too often, at the drop of a hat, without consulting yourself first. And while you may know that … how the eff do you stop doing it, exactly?

So, the list goes on and on. There are so many ways we wish we could finally fix ourselves, the things we wish we could wave a magic wand and disappear. Our sexual wounding, our sensitivity, our people pleasing tendencies. Maybe you’re also sure your life would be better if you lost a few pounds or learned to have tantric orgasms.

***

But underneath these problems, lurks something else entirely.

A through-line, a thread.

What if underneath it all is: a fear of not being loved?

They won’t love me unless I shed my sexual trauma.

They won’t love me because I’m too sensitive.

They won’t love me unless I swallow my voice and my needs, and go along with their way.

I can’t tell you how much energy we all use to make sure we’re loved, and simply liked. After all, there’s not much worse fate than being an unlikeable woman or femme. Even if you identify as an outsider, you may have your sneaky ways of remaining likeable, like taking on the identity of the cool girl. Or maybe for you, it’s that people pleasing again. Don’t rock the boat, or you’ll end up alone. Be nice.

And we can be nice and we can be cool, yeah? Until it slips out sideways. Until the repression starts to feel sticky in our soul and we know we’re not being true to ourselves anymore. Not being true to ourselves truly erodes our very being. We end up feeling lost, stuck, and desperately confused about who we are. We end up in toxic situations or relationships.

All of us raised as girls have something in common—we were raised with relentless conditioning to say Yes, until our Yeses became absolutely meaningless.

Wanna have another drink? Sure. Wanna have sex in this uncomfortable position? Okay. Wanna take this job, for less pay? Yeah, I guess I should start there. Wanna sacrifice your needs and desires for mine? Yeah, because I don’t want you to leave.

All in the name of being liked. All in the name of being loveable. And to lose all of ourselves in the process.

Let’s say No More together, yeah?

Hi, I’m Elena, and I’m a Yes and No Coach.

What I help you do is suss out your truth. Your Yeses, your Noes, your Life. I help you name and claim what’s truly yours, so you can leave toxic situations and relationships, and step into the life that’s waiting for you. I have a system I’ve created called the Unshakable Self-Trust Method, and it’s a little out of the box. Instead of thinking your way out of this, it’s about dropping into your body and learning to listen to your own cues, attuning to your own wisdom, and bit by bit, walking away from what doesn’t serve you anymore.

When we find your true Yeses and Noes, we find self-connection. We find self-fulfillment and self-love.

We find the love, belonging, acceptance and self-respect that we all really crave.

We build a bit of resilience so that you can ask for what you want, feel grounded and centered, less reactive, and allow you to—gasp!—maybe even be a bit difficult from time to time. As you move toward this kind of health inside yourself, you free up energy that you can use to build a life with more love, more sweetness, and less pressure.

My vision and dreams for women:

• Creating our own lives, that reflect who we truly are and what we deeply desire

• Knowing deeply that we matter, and tending ourselves with great care

• Lives without override - saying Yes and No and Maybe in alignment with our desires

• An ability to know what we want and receive it fully

• Feeling a deep connection to the divine through sexuality and sensuality

• Having the sex we want (not the sex others want! the sex we want - and if we don't know what that is, uncovering it safely and slowly)

• Knowing our own Feminine cycles, and creating lives based on our own rhythms (such as living in tune with nature, the menstrual cycle, and/or astrology)

• Knowing ourselves and our gifts

• Having access to play, joy and gratitude

• Being able to ride life's big waves with support, rest and self-love

  If you’re looking for support, I’d love to connect with you.

My Offerings:

Sacred Sexuality Coaching

Healing Self-Pleasure Course

(online, self-paced)