I write you from the end of Daylight Savings Time here in the US. This means the clocks “fell back,” and we have one less hour of daylight as we head into winter. I’m not a fan of the clocks changing: my circadian rhythms are very sensitive and take weeks to reset. This one, where we hypothetically gain sleep, isn’t as truly terrible as the beginning of DST in March, but seriously, could we just cancel this already? It’s hard on the body.
Over the past few years, rhythms have become increasingly important to me.
I teach women to tune into their own natural rhythms, menstrual cycle, and into the rhythms of nature.
Our rhythms connect us to our internal wisdom, needs, and alignment. When we work with our menstrual rhythm—resting when we’re bleeding; stepping more into the world during the energetic time just after our bleed and during ovulation; then evaluating during the luteal phase, also known as PMS—when we work with these times rather than against them, we experience more inner and outer harmony, as well as less discomfort before and during our bleed.
In this world that’s over-focused on productivity and doing, we divorce people from natural rhythms. We use caffeine and sugar to get around our ultradian rhythm (our natural lulls in energy, which occur about every 90 minutes. Try a walk or a quick nap when you notice these lulls, rather than a coffee or a piece of chocolate.) Full disclosure: I’m drinking coffee right now, so, you know, there’s always room for your humanity and discernment here ;)
In our culture, we treat female-assigned bodies like smaller men. After all, that’s the equality our foremothers fought for! A lot of us are beginning to notice, though—women are not men. Women have completely different natural rhythms.
For male bodies, 24-hour cycles make sense. For female bodies who still bleed, we are on a 27-33 day cycle.
When we begin to live in tune with our cycles, making small adjustments here and there, we access more natural energy, we sleep better, we experience less pain and mood swings … honestly, the advantages are endless.
Our menstrual cycle is a gift, really. It’s a way for us to know ourselves deeply, and support our health and well-being.
Yet we’ve been taught it’s a pain and a nuisance. I don’t mean to invalidate anyone who suffers with their menstrual cycle—so many of us do. I posit that much of that suffering is due to our culture. We’re given a heaping pile of shame with our menstrual cycle. We’re told it’s dirty. Most of us got handed a pad and a tampon when we started bleeding, with no rite of passage or deeper wisdom. Not many of us heard, “Here’s an amazing thing that connects you with your deepest Truth, your womanhood (if you identify with that), and with all of nature. Here’s a way you can take the deepest care of yourself possible.”
Sure, you absolutely can. And will you pay emotional and physical prices for it over the span of your lifetime? Yes, yes you will. Worth it? Naw.
Remember that slogan? “Anything you can do, I can do bleeding!” While it was a necessary moment in history and I get it: ewwwww, no.
When we honor our periods and give ourselves the time to rest while bleeding (rather than pushing ourselves to perform and go-go-go), we set ourselves up for a better month and better health overall.
Energetically, we are shedding during our bleed. It’s a necessary reset, a time when we are meant to be internal and allow downward flow of energy. Much of our menstrual pain and discomfort can be relieved through connecting to the uterus through breath and visualization during our periods, giving ourselves real time to rest, and not using tampons (you want the blood to flow out, rather than adding more congestion in the pelvis).
When we truly honor the cycle, we know exactly what we can say Yes and No to in a given month. We know when our energy will naturally be more alive and excited. We know when we’ll be more emotional, and the best practices to work with that. We know when we need more rest, and when we need more downtime.
Begin by honoring your period. Try clearing your schedule as much as possible for the first couple of days of your bleed. Yes, this can be hard with work and kids, but how might you use breaks, the possibility of working from home, etc. to support yourself?
On breaks, try visualizations that support the down and out energy of bleeding. Whisper to your body, it’s okay to let go, as you see energy flowing down and out of a grounding cord at your root. Envision truly releasing.
Just this simple practice a few times a day can coax blood from your body, and help you clear stuck, stagnant energy, preparing you for more ease as you enter the more energetic part of your cycle.
Don’t know when you’ll be bleeding? Try a free app like MyFlo to track your cycle. For more in-depth cycle learning, try Flo, which is around $40 a year, and a great way to learn about each phase of your cycle. If you’re on hormonal birth control, please see my note below.
No longer bleeding? Look up the moon cycle and start to chart that connection. A great book for this is Cosmic Health by Jennifer Racioppi.
When I’m not honoring my menstrual cycle, my life starts to implode. My emotional health, my relationships, my ability to follow through with social and work plans—I get overwhelmed, and then feel shame that I can’t show up. This causes a cycle of force and collapse, where I force myself to do things, and then need a huge amount of isolation/internal time to get back to equilibrium.
When I honor my cycle, life opens up, and I feel so much more self-compassion. There’s more honesty and alignment as to what I’m available for. My inner critic doesn’t get a chance to come online. Life is more easeful and there’s less force. At the end of the day, it’s simply a better use of energy.
It’s an ongoing process and unfolding, with a new chance every month. As usual, it’s not about perfection, but about making small, doable changes that support your growth.
If you’d like support with your cycle, reach out for a session here. Sometimes it’s hard to honor our cycle for deeper reasons: feeling unable to honor our rhythms due to the demands in our lives, or not feeling we matter enough to make these self-reverant changes. If you’d like to experiment with a new way, step by step, I’d be honored to support you.
*** Just a note here: if you’re on hormonal birth control (HBC), those hormones are suppressing your menstrual cycle. The bleed you’re having is a breakthrough bleed. HBC is a personal choice and the best one for some women. I was suicidal on the Nuva Ring (and I was on it for years before realizing it was the culprit), and my copper IUD got stuck in my uterus, resulting in surgical removal. My journey with birth control has been a hard one, and I feel so empowered and connected to my body now that I use the Fertility Awareness Method. Many of my clients have reported similar journeys with birth control (and I honor every woman’s unique situation and decision).
When it comes to hormonal birth control, I highly advocate educating yourself about it and knowing your options. Sweetening the Pill by Holly Grigg-Spall is a great place to start reading about this.