Vulva mapping, or vaginal mapping, is a hands-on session that I provide in my home office near Boulder, CO.
Vulva mapping is an opportunity to have your vulva touched with total compassion, and with no agenda.
It's a space where you can explore the history of your pelvis (from gynecological exams, to sex, to birth), and to share the stories that are being held there.
It's a space of incredible slowness, rich with opportunity to negotiate consent, and practice your own boundaries.
It's a space where your yoni can be honored, normalized, and freed from old stories, pain, and shame. It's a space where you can reclaim your body as your own.
It can also be a place to be curious about your own sexual arousal trajectory: what parts are where, what they do, and how they respond to touch (did you know you have as much erectile tissue as a man, and that it takes 30-45 minutes to fully engorge? Do you know where it is? We can give you a felt sense of this tissue in your body, so that you may work with new types of pleasure).
So, think about it for a moment. Has anyone ever touched your vulva with no agenda? And asked your permission every step of the way?
When a lover touches your vulva, it can feel impossible to escape the "give and take" narrative. They are touching with the intent to give you pleasure, or get you to an orgasm. Even in a loving relationship, there can be some pushiness to this. There's a desire for an outcome: your desire, your response, your lubrication, your orgasm, or your consent to go further.
Pelvic Exams & Trauma
Most gynecological exams are highly uncomfortable as well. We can't see what's happening and we are treated as though we aren't the experts of our own bodies and experiences. Medical professionals are trained to treat only the pelvis: not the whole human. We're so afraid of overstepping into sexual harassment or worse, that we've forgotten how to be open-hearted and human in medical interaction.
But during a gynecological exam, all kinds of things can be triggered. Vaginas weren't made to be entered fast, without eye contact, without a deep breath, without connection. Often during an exam, we go "up and out" to get through the discomfort of being entered too fast; the intensity of big, cold speculums; the swabs poking at our cervixes. We dissociate; we stare into one of the florescent lights, tolerating the intensity or pain, and then fast-forwarding into our lives without integrating the experience.
If we've experienced sexual trauma, pelvic exams can be even more disorienting.
A Vulva Mapping Session
Many people come to a session with me because they are drawn and they don't know why. They have a vague, nagging feeling that there's something more, or that something is missing from sex. Some people come because they've experienced the sexual grey area: they've had sex that they didn't especially want, or they keep getting in situations like that. Some people come to tell their birth stories, or to look into specific sexual abuse. Some people come to discover what their unique sexuality looks like, and how they can discover and communicate what they want. Some people have low desire, or experience pain during sex.
What does a session look like?
All sessions look different, because we're all storing different stories and experiences in our pelvises. We'll start with a verbal check-in. Then we move to the massage table for craniosacral holds, so that we can both drop into presence and grounding.
At some point, I will get on the table with you, facing you. I'll keep my clothes on and I'll be wearing nitrile gloves.We will begin the hands-on, possible hands-in part of the session. We'll keep grounding and regulating our nervous systems together, working our way towards your yoni with great care.
Not all sessions include hands-in work—our time together is valuable regardless. We are going at your body's speed, and truly learning what that speed is: seeing where your mind might override your body. I will narrate what I'm doing and where I'm headed, and ask you questions: "What are you noticing now?" "Are you ready for me to place my full hand over your vulva, and hold there?" "Would you rather I stay above the sheet?"
Why is vulva mapping such potent medicine?
Vulva mapping is powerful because of our current cultural climate. Women are coming into something new, especially after #metoo. We are being called as a collective to own our bodies and experiences, to be radically honest with ourselves about our histories and desires, and to figure out and advocate for our own pleasure. Too often, women receive sex: we allow men to take the lead. We ride the wave of the experience, and we tolerate touches that don't feel good.
Vulva mapping is so potent because it starts to unwind a lifetime of social conditioning.
Women are taught to be good, and being good means being agreeable and being quiet. So many of us carry this attitude into the bedroom, and it can lead to having no idea what it is we do want.
We end up acting as the gatekeepers of sex: men push for it, and we keep it. We have "traditional" sex in the A to B trajectory (oral sex, penetration, sex until he has an orgasm, the end), not realizing there is another side of sex to explore: one where we are in the moment, fully present and following our impulses. This is the kind of sex that feels deep, sacred, and fulfilling on many levels.
Is vulva mapping for you?
People ask: Is a vulva mapping session for me if I haven't experienced sexual trauma? The answer is yes. Even when we are entered too fast, too soon, or when we're not really aroused, those experiences can result in pain, numbness, or just feeling off. These experiences can be resolved through a session. Vulva mapping is for any woman who's considering becoming sexual active; any woman who wants to learn more about pleasure, her cycle, or her body; any woman with low desire; anyone who isn't having the kind of sex she wants; and anyone who's simply curious.
Testimonials
"Lynn holds a sacred and safe space in which to work on the physical sensations and emotions that are carried in the abdomen, vagina and uterus. She opened many doors to spirit through her caring touch and I felt I had many revelations about the hidden gifts that I hold in my body. This work is profound and vulnerable and I recommend it for those who are curious about understanding more deeply their bodies wisdom.
There is so much to be unraveled and experienced through this work that is hard to put into words.
Lynn’s talent and passion for this work make her a trustworthy companion on this journey to deeper intimacy and understanding with oneself." - L.H.
"Vaginal mapping? Why would I expose myself to someone who’s not a lover? How would I react to such an intimate exploration? What unspoken stories might be uncovered? I decided to open myself to finding out. And Lynn proved to be a trustworthy guide. Asking my permission every step of the way, her gentle voice and gentle touch created a safe and respectful environment. There was a holiness to this process. I felt Lynn’s reverence for my body, honoring its feminine mystery and power. After the process, I felt enlivened in body, mind and spirit. I had gained more awareness and knowledge of my most intimate self. If you’re at all curious about exploring your body, I highly recommend Lynn as your guide." -- L.S
Please contact me or use the link below to schedule a phone call to check in around a session, and see if we’re a good fit. Vulva mapping sessions are 90 minutes long, and $175.
Photo via Unsplash: @AnnieSpratt