Articles
on empowerment, boundaries, magic and self-growth
A sex coach may or may not work with couples. Most often, I work with individuals on anything related to sex—from learning skills to enhance self-pleasure, to sexual empowerment and liberation, to healing from sexual wounding and trauma. A sex coach might specialize in something, like sex addiction, boundary repair, or teaching tools for full-body orgasms.
I posit that sex is sacred because Life is sacred. We exist because of sex, and the act of sex couldn't be more natural. If Life is sacred, so is sex. Almost every person has a story of contacting their natural sexuality as a child—and having it shamed or chastised out of them, to live on in dark corners of the mind and body. When we're shamed about sex when we're young, it causes a lifelong undercurrent of self-questioning. We worry that we're sinners, or that there's something wrong with us. In our unconscious, sex gets connected with these false and disparaging thoughts.
It wasn’t until I did work around my childhood wounding and patterning that I began having aha moments. I realized I was the common denominator of all these relationships, and if they were all going the same way, it pointed to a certain someone fucking up: me.
Anything you’re trying to change in your life: a body part, a reaction, a state of being, an emotion, a disease—try a new tact, a different angle. Baby it. Ask it what it needs from you, and if it’s in your power, provide that. It might need rest or love. It might simply need to be heard. What it doesn’t need is shame, judgment, or fear.
Breast massage gives you a relationship with your breasts, one that you cultivate from the inside out. This is your time to connect with your heart, with your nipples, and with any sensations or numbness there. This is your time to connect with the energy in your breasts, to give them acceptance and love, and to really make peace with them. Massaging your breasts leads to acceptance and compassion—and fuller, perkier breasts are the cherry on top.
The daddy thing shows up like this: when I'm really turned on by a man fully in his masculine (like when he's fixing something, taking care of me, or working on something he's passionate about), I think the word "daddy," sometimes over and over, and get fully weak in the knees (who knew that was a thing that literally happened?). This happens during sex too, of course, or we wouldn't be here.
Originally published December 2017.
Vulva mapping, or vaginal mapping, is an opportunity to have your genitals touched with total compassion, and with no agenda. It's a space where you can explore the history of your pelvis (from gynecological exams, to sex, to birth), and to share the stories that are being held there. It's a space of incredible slowness, rich with opportunity to negotiate consent, and practice your own boundaries. It's a space where your yoni can be honored, normalized, and freed from old stories, pain, and shame.
I have been so focused on money and scarcity for the past nine months.How to heal the money story I've inherited from the culture and my ancestors, how to move from scarcity into a space of thriving. I have felt so stuck in my patterns. So stuck in the worry about money, so stuck in the obsession and the frustration that there isn't more flow.
And now, it has finally settled. Finally clicked. The scarcity is within.
Originally published July 2017.
Those of us who have struggled with body dysmorphia or body hatred know that there's no easy way to describe the journey to body-acceptance. Still, I desperately want to be able to relate it to other women, because there is nothing more healing and powerful than being able to relax into who you are.
Imagine spending all the time you spend hating yourself and your body ... on something else. On hiking, or meditating. On getting a PhD, because it takes that kind of time and energy to keep up with the constant self-berating and shame.
Originally published July 15, 2017.
